I just read a comment from a lovely lady I met in Canberra for the Deafness Summit last year – she lives in Melbourne and got a cochlear implant I think either early this year or late last year.
Anyway, here is part of her comment, and I found it really struck me as being one of the unintended benefits of a cochlear implant when it works really well:
….I notice that I am much more likely to speak to strangers- in the past I avoided having chance conversations with people I didnt know. I really enjoy this – it has been an unexpected benefit.
Wendy
This is something that I have come to notice with my cochlear implant.
Where I used to avoid looking at people, even in the lift at work, or on the street, or on the bus … now … I actually see people in a different light, and am much more open, and feeling like I am looking around for a random conversation! It is GREAT. People with normal hearing might not understand that feeling of imprisonment where you can’t really talk to the people around you.
On the bus the other night, everyone was sitting quietly as they made their way home, and behind me, a woman’s mobile phone rang. She started talking on the phone, not loudly, but unbelievably, I could actually hear what she was saying.
I sat there, this huge grin spreading over my face, as I listened to the voice behind me – it was the first conversation I had ever ‘overheard’, and it was wonderful. Everyone on the bus sat there looking glum as they were ‘forced’ to listen to her ‘boring’ conversation…
But what they don’t realise is that, no matter how boring, these snippets give you a tiny window into someone else’s life! Hell, I know she was discussing the fact that her friend Brian couldn’t make Pub Trivia on Thursday night because he was working too hard in a new job…. but geez …. when you can hear stuff like that, it’s like people around you become more like …. people … and not strangers.
So, I kind of half swivelled my head towards her and commented: “I reckon you should tell Brian life is too short, he should go to Trivia, they won’t fire him for leaving on time.”
There was dead silence.
People around me on the turned their heads, surprised that I had spoken.
I heard a giggle.
Then some people smiled.
I turned back grinning hugely.
Then behind me she mumbled into the phone: “Maybe … I’ll tell Brian he should come….”
I felt like saying to everyone: “You people can HEAR!!!! You should all be talking and having conversations with the strangers next to you everywhere!!! Don’t take it for granted! Talk people!!! Talk!!!”
Maybe everyone needs a good bout of deafness to get their humanity working again.
September 7, 2009 at 4:19 pm
I don’t know… I think that’s Sydney. Always used to have conversations with people I didn’t know in Armidale. 🙂 Even do it in Wollongong to a lesser extent.
September 8, 2009 at 12:25 pm
Great story Kate. Indeed! We all spend too much time in public pretending we CAN’T hear. One of the things I miss from living in the city and catching public transport is the listen-in factor. Trains to the Blue Mountains were always the best. People have the strangest conversations, and the whole carraige is listening but staring out the window pretending they’re not. Hey, maybe you should do a Kevin Rudd and go on a ‘listening tour’! (by public transport, of course)
September 9, 2009 at 11:41 am
Love this story! Very cool, and a good reminder to be thankful 🙂
September 12, 2009 at 2:38 pm
Hi Kate, love your blogg!
I feel I know you well already! After my CIs (2004 & 2006) people tended to smile more (originally I thought it was out of sympathy). Now SOMETIMES people ask questions however, they soon realise I love to share and often I let them feel my ‘bionic ear’ (within reason- I realise I better stop saying ‘give me your finger’!!). Recently I had some publicity in the Wollongong region (think half a page), now I am forever wondering if ‘they have seen it’ as more people are smiling!
I also love to dance rock and roll/salsa because I can hear the music (good for the balance too)! After all the Hearing Awareness Week publicity; fellow dancers have stated they didn’t know I had CIs, let alone that I am deaf. As one dancer pointed out- it is no longer a hidden handicap, but a hidden secret! Way to go girl……!
September 12, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Just to add to your ‘over heard conversation’…my hubby hates using the phone (ok, its a sociological male thing), but hey HE CAN USE A PHONE!
The wonders of other peoples converstion always amazed me, especially in the early days after switch on. It was like a super clear FM with the mic specifically pointed at THEM for ME to hear. I often ask myself; why do people talk so loud…in clubs, restaurants etc or on the mobile? Is it to share the conversation? But if we innocently become proactive we get a response like you did????
When someone is on a moblie phone, I notice all those around continue to act like they can’t hear. WHY!!! Is there an unwritten chapter I don’t know about in ‘Miss Manners’??
Reflecting back on my silent days; I hardly knew when someone was on the mobile or when people were talking loudly in a lift. People looked away or acted like nothing different was happening, yet I am sure every word could be heard by most!
Humans…we are funny creatures especially if we have all senses!
September 23, 2009 at 9:18 am
Its a joy to read your blog. I am doing really well with my CI. my understand is in the 66% range. Here in Boston, they test my hearing some what differently. So its hard to compare with your testing. without hearing aids i couldn’t hear anything. with hearing aids i could hearing 11% in left ear and 22% in right ear. I am sure like me, there is so much emotion and feeling in being able to hear. thank you for sharing a bit of your life with us. Miguel
October 3, 2009 at 5:18 pm
Loved this one bigtime, Kate! It moved me to tears 🙂
Thanks for this lovely written gem of a CI-moment!
October 26, 2009 at 4:38 am
Your post is interesting and it’s awesome to be able to hear so well with CI. If I get mine, I am soooo looking forward to being able to eavesdrop on other people, it will be such fun. You made me laugh out loud with your reaction to the lady on the mobile.