OK, now for our weekly update on what I can hear now! Yaaaay.

Today I made a phone call to someone I didn’t know.

That’s a big thing, because it can be kind of hard hearing the voice of an unfamiliar person on the phone.

I have been talking to Ben and mum on the phone heaps now since the implant (wow!) and unfortunately, I have the phone bills to prove it.

So, today, I decided to take the leap, and try and call someone I didnt know.

Perfect moment came up when I realised that it was tax-time.

Considering I got audited last year by the tax department because I tried claiming my hearing aids and hearing aid batteries as work expenses, I decided I should probably get someone official to do it this time, just in case.

So, I called the local tax accountants near my work.

I had to prepare myself mentally. Making a phone call like this can freak me out!

So, I got organised, went into the ‘Quiet Room’ at my office, took a few crazy breaths, felt ridiculous, and then dialled. A woman answered:

“Hello? ”

Clear as a bell. I wondered briefly if I should tell her that she was talking to a profoundly deaf person. But no – I decided it would freak her out… Like walking up to someone, in full view, and shouting “I am invisible!”

And besides! I could understand what she was saying. And so we had a normal phone conversation.

It was a little bit unclear in parts – I mean, she was talking normally, not clear and slower than normal, like my family knows how to speak to me – she had no idea she was talking to a profoundly deaf robot person!

So, I was able to talk to her, book an appointment, and also check what documents I needed to bring. That was pretty awesome. But also bizarre.

I mean, who hangs up the phone after talking to their local tax accountant all flushed and excited!? Geez, I hope I never get used to using the phone if it’s this fun to use each time. A bit nerve wracking, but totally worth it.

Another cool experience was the gym.

Now, anyone with a significant hearing loss like mine knows that when you go to a gym class, like say, pilates or yoga (as I am wont to d0), that you need to position yourself in such a way that people are surrounding you – so you can copy people from all angles as you do your moves.

Because, obviously, when you are deaf you can’t hear a word the instructor is saying, and you can’t always see them from your contorted positions!

After years of yoga classes, I have become a master of copying moves of everyone around me without them knowing, and I can even can pre-determine what sort of move a person is about to make, just by the way they are breathing. I try not to look like I am watching my fellow classmates too intently, because I guess it would freak anyone out if they realised they were being stared at doing the ‘Downward Dog’.

Anyway, so I was at one of my regular classes, and I felt particularly rested and relaxed during the class for some reason. I hadn’t realised it, but I was actually hearing the instructor saying: “Breathe in. Breathe out, and hold for 4, 3, 2, 1… And relax…”

I couldn’t believe it.

I sat bolt up-right in the class while everyone else was lying down crouched in some bizarre lotus position, heads down, arses up, and arms bent… I double-checked. Yep. The instructor had her head bent down too, still speaking, and I was hearing every word of it.  

I lay back down in my contorted position, and just grinned like a madman.

Yoga gym junkie gibberish never sounded so good.